When we are asked the question, “may I take your order”? Are we really getting what we want or is this just a rhetorical question?
How it all began
Being mindful of what I put into my body (other than dessert) for the past several years, I recently made a diversion to a local fast-food eatery. Before you start judging me, be mindful that many of these on-the-go restaurants offer healthy choices. Anyway, as I approached the ordering board, which now has an actual human standing there to take orders (I still do not understand how this makes ordering more efficient), I proceeded to request a medium salad. I was immediately informed that only large salads were available. Being the smart cookie that I am and always looking for ways to help businesses improve, I told the attendant that they could half-fill a large bowl. She looked at me as if I were a three-headed monster from Annoyingville and emphasized, “we no longer offer medium salads at this location”. Was I in a nightmare? Has the world suddenly gone mad? Were they really going to force me to buy double of what I really wanted? Large would mean more dressing, more croutons, and more calories. It then became apparent. The purpose for placing these humans at the ordering board was to bring messages of doom to the customers.
There was hope
Recalling that I had recently ordered a medium salad from a twin franchise, 15 minutes away, I proudly informed the devil’s messenger that I would be taking my talents and my money to the restaurant that had exactly what I wanted.
Approximately thirty minutes later (why do they call them “fast-food” again?), I was driving away from the second location with my medium salad and feeling quite pleased with myself. Sure the restaurants may be owned by the same franchisee, but as I hear in every lawsuit, “it was the principle that mattered”. How dare they infringe upon my civil liberties and attempt to force a large salad upon me?
How it ended
Two weeks later, I found myself in-transit and again wanting a medium salad. I was in the vicinity of my newest, favorite fast-food restaurant and decided to patronize them as a reward for not buckling to corporate pressure. As I approached the board, sans any demonic messengers, I yelled my order into the speaker (the way it is supposed to be). A few seconds later, a voice came back and announced, “we no longer offer medium salads at this location”. It was true, the world had indeed gone mad. I am convinced that a memo was sent to all franchises by satan himself, discontinuing the sale of medium salads. As I departed the restaurant with a tear rolling down my cheek and feeling defeated, I proceeded home to enjoy my large salad and now viewing the world as a little less friendly.
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